When you are busy raising children, you may feel you have to do all kinds of things, overthink, lose the ability to set priorities, and become so unable to sort things out in your head that you slide into low spirits. Your role as a mother (or father), your child's future, money, your marriage and relationships with others... these all matter, but you can't worry about, think through, or solve them all at once, let alone be happy or sad about all of them at once. People have attention functions, which we can divide here into general attention and selective attention.
Put simply, general attention is attention to the whole picture, and selective attention is attention you choose to direct at something. Listening to one person's voice while talking in a noisy crowd is an example of selecting that person's voice.
We recommend switching between general attention and selective attention as you care for your children. To reduce the mental burden, if we name what to focus on with selective attention,
there are five specific minimum essentials in caring for babies and toddlers. (Of course, things outside this focus, such as your marriage and finances, are very important in the long run, so it's good to work on them little by little. They are too big to solve all at once.)
- Activity 1: Eating
- Activity 2: Toileting
- Activity 3: Bathing
- Activity 4: Dressing
- Activity 5: Grooming
Activity 1: Eating
In childcare, the most important activity, from the standpoint of keeping a child alive, is eating. For infants, this means breast milk or formula. Babies and toddlers develop rapidly in body size, motor skills, fine finger movement, and brain and nerve function. The energy and nutrients they take in during this period not only maintain and improve health and fuel activity, but are also needed for growth and development, which may be the big difference from adulthood.
Activity 2: Toileting
The next important activity in childcare is toileting, which for babies and toddlers may mean changing diapers. Food is digested and absorbed and then passed as waste. If diapers aren't changed in response to the time or the baby's cries, the waste can cause skin problems and discomfort. Depending on the child's development, some nursery schools and mothers start toilet training as early as around age two.
Activities 3 and 4: Bathing and dressing
Next in priority, bathing and dressing are basic everyday activities needed to keep babies and toddlers clean. Let children gradually do what they can by themselves as they develop, and encourage their growth. On the other hand, take care not to help so much that you hold back their development.
Activity 5: Grooming
An activity in childcare that needs constant attention is grooming, such as cutting nails, cleaning ears and brushing teeth. Even in early childhood, finger dexterity isn't developed yet, so this is one of the things parents do for their children.
Ways to encourage these activities
In early childhood and the school years, depending on the child's condition, teaching in ways the child can understand, adapting the tools they use, and practicing repeatedly are effective.
Points to keep in mind
As a rule, work on these in step with your child's growth. In some cases, you may need to arrange for outside help.
What parents aim for is the child's independence and their mental and social development. Be careful not to fixate on the activities so much that you force them and your child loses motivation, which would defeat the purpose.
Supervised by an occupational therapist
