It is natural to have negative feelings towards your child at times.
Everyone has negative feelings about their children and themselves when raising their children. It's impossible to always feel positive.
Raising a child is a human relationship, and parents are human too, so they experience stress and have physical limitations.
It affects the level of cooperation in marital relationships, and if a single parent is responsible for everything on their own, it is natural that they will become physically and mentally exhausted.
Trauma resurrected
However, if you find yourself saying, "I want to love, but I can't love well," or "I often find myself feeling more anger or jealousy than necessary toward my child," there is a good chance that some kind of trauma is behind this.For example, if you were abused by your parents, or were always told cold things by them, even if it wasn't as bad as abuse, and the trauma of neglect remains strong, even if you try to treat your child in a positive way, negative memories of how things were with you may come back to you, and you may feel conflicted, wondering why you have to do positive things for your child, as if the positive and negative are clashing. This can be very painful.
Some examples of trauma that can affect parenting other than parent-child relationships include (1) trauma in relationships with one's spouse or partner, (2) trauma in relationships at work or school, and (3) trauma from being involved in an incident or accident.
For some people, different traumas may span multiple categories.
For example, a person may have been abused by their parents, been bullied at school, and suffered domestic violence from their partner after becoming an adult.
To be able to raise good children
In order to raise a child, you need to overcome your own trauma and treat your child in a good way. How can you deal with the trauma that is hindering you in treating your child in a good way?
It is important not to look back on the past . In fact, past trauma is threatening your current parenting time and trying to drag you into the past. You are trying to make your child endure the same experience. So, in order not to repeat the past, you need to clearly distinguish between the past and the present, face the present, and start moving forward in life towards the future. By continuing to do so, you can break the vicious cycle of the past, and a new future and the family you envisioned will return to you.
Parenting while believing in yourself, correcting the bad words and actions that naturally come out, and switching to positive patterns requires a lot of energy and is an activity that should be praised.
If we can raise our children to be adults who can live in society, they will definitely come back to us as parents, and that will be our happiness, so let's overcome these difficulties and do our best now!