Many women are troubled by their husbands who do no housework at all.
Even though the idea of gender equality and dual-income households is becoming more widespread in modern society, there are still husbands who do no housework at all. Some of these husbands may be absorbed in their work or hobbies, or simply neglect housework.
However, if both spouses work and child-rearing is difficult, I think it is natural to worry and hope that your husband will help with housework.
In this article, we will explain to women why their husbands do not do housework and how to deal with husbands who do not do housework.
Here are four effective ways to deal with a husband who doesn't do housework.
(1) Tell them what housework you want them to do
If you wait for your husband to realize it on his own and keep quiet, it's more likely that you should stop.
Don't expect your husband to realize, or even if he does realize, to start doing housework on his own.
From time to time, your husband may be made aware of the problem by some kind of situation, but waiting for that to happen will only make the problem bigger.
You are doing housework as a parent, to protect the family, and to look after your children, but your husband doesn't seem to notice anything. This feeling of "what's wrong with him?" will grow stronger, and as time goes by, negative thoughts will build up and you will lose control of your own mind.
Be nice and tell your husband that you want him to help with household chores.
The important thing to note here is that even if you explain it clearly once, they will not understand, Stop being disappointed in your husband, giving up, or exploding. You want to avoid this escalating into a big fight.
If your husband is willing to listen, one effective strategy is to tell him repeatedly. Sometimes people become aware of something when they are told it multiple times, and when they are told the same thing multiple times, they can understand the magnitude of the problem. In fact, it may be that your husband doesn't see the issue as a big deal.
It may also be okay to say it jokingly. Including a joke allows you to tell the story multiple times. If you always speak too seriously, you may lose control. If it's difficult to make jokes, just speak casually.
(2) Start by asking them to do simple household chores
If you can help with housework, First, set the difficulty level of the household chores to a low level.
If you suddenly ask a man who doesn't usually cook, he will be hesitant.
Start by asking them to do easy tasks like washing the dishes, taking out the trash, taking in the laundry, and cleaning the bathroom.
One thing to be careful about is not to let them make excuses and run away.
Depending on the situation, they may be tired or busy, and you may sympathize with them, but if they always run away from you, it will just put off the problem, Furthermore, this will lead to your husband developing the habit of not doing housework. Therefore, try to get your husband to do housework on a continuous basis (from once a week to every day) so that he will recognize it as a job and a habit.
As for the idea, if the husband has never done housework before, I think he will be resistant and reluctant to do it at first. To go with you I think it's important to go with them to eliminate any sense of resistance or refusal, and to make them feel that they can do it alone and that it's not too unpleasant.
(3) I appreciate it when someone does housework for me.
It is not easy to show gratitude to others. Some women feel irritated the longer they have not done any housework, so it is psychologically difficult to show gratitude even if they have done a little, and it depends on the individual. If your husband completes a household chore, thank him and praise him, regardless of the outcome.
You may think, "Is there really anything to be grateful for when someone throws out their trash?", but it's nice to be thanked.
Exchanging words of gratitude and praise is a very important form of communication. If you can master this type of communication, it will help ease any negative feelings you may have and warm your relationships.
(4) Show the sharing system
Once you have gotten into the habit of doing some housework, try making a chore distribution chart.
Each household has different needs and chores, from preparing dinner for the kids to bathing them and getting them to bed. Talk to your husband and find a way to do things that is easy for you.
2. Why doesn't my husband do housework in the first place?
First of all, let's take a look at the psychology behind why husbands don't do housework.
A husband who doesn't do housework must have his own reasons.
There are probably several reasons for this:
(1) My husband can’t keep up with the changing situation
This situation, where the woman does the housework and the man doesn’t have to do it or can do what he likes, is comfortable for the man. You might think it will continue forever.
Also, many women have an instinct to love to take care of others.
When you first got married, you may have found housework and taking care of your husband enjoyable.
But marriages change over time.
The circumstances surrounding couples are constantly changing, such as the wife starting to work, having children, or needing to care for parents.
Riding the wave of change The wife gradually begins to feel that it is unfair that she is the only one doing the housework.
However, my husband is still at the same pace as when we first got married. It's no wonder that I wonder, "What's wrong with him?"
Your husband may forget that it is your efforts that make him able to do his job.
Many working women are grateful that their husbands help with housework so they can focus on their work, but unfortunately, men often take this for granted.
(2) I'm tired
Some husbands may not do housework because they are simply tired.
For this reason, even if you live alone and have to do your own cleaning and laundry, you will be too tired to do it.
If your job involves heavy physical labor or you hold a position of great responsibility, you may not have the physical or mental energy to do housework.
(3) They think that housework is women’s work.
It is true that there are still many people who believe that women should stay at home and take care of the family, because that is how it was in their husband's parents' generation.
The era in which one grows up and the type of family life one had as a child greatly influence the way one thinks.
Such husbands, even if both partners work, likely feel that a woman's "main" job is housework and childcare, and that she should only work a little when she has the means.
Even if you just sit there and wait for your husband to do housework, the day will never come when he does it.
(4) I don’t understand how hard it is to do housework alone.
I think that a husband who has never done housework will not understand how difficult it is, even if his wife is doing her best to do it. People only learn about something by experiencing it, so it is difficult for them to imagine something they have never experienced.
that's why Give your husband more opportunities to do household chores and get to know you.
I think it will also help bring the two of you closer together. In other words, it means asking them to do household chores for the couple and letting them have the experience.
(5) I don't mind
Housework generally refers to cleaning, laundry, and cooking, but the house is often dirty and untidy.
Underwear and clothes not cleanly washed
Many men don't really care if the food they eat isn't homemade.
He believes that housework should be done with minimal effort, so he doesn't expect you, his wife, to push yourself too hard.
(6) Even if you do it, people will complain
There are probably many husbands who have tried it in the past but stopped doing it after being criticized by their wives.
Even though I try my best, I only get criticized and end up sulking.
Avoid nagging your husband as this will only have the opposite effect.
summary
In order to get a husband who doesn't do housework to do it, the couple needs to change their way of thinking.
It will be difficult to get your husband to actively do housework unless you change his attitude as well as yours.
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