It is natural to have negative feelings towards your child at times.
During the parenting process, it is inevitable that we will have bad or negative feelings towards our children or ourselves. It is impossible to stay positive all the time.
Raising a child is also a human relationship with the child, Parents are human too, so they experience stress and have physical limitations.
The degree of cooperation between spouses when it comes to raising children also has an impact, and if you are raising children alone, it is natural that you may become physically and mentally exhausted.
Trauma resurrected
However, if you feel like "I want to love but I can't do it well" or "I often feel excessive anger or jealousy towards my child", It can often be said that some kind of trauma is behind it.For example, if you have suffered strong trauma from being abused by your parents in your childhood, or even if it didn't go as far as abuse, you may have been constantly spoken to coldly, or you may have been neglected. When you try to behave in a positive way towards your child, painful memories from the past may come back to you, and you may unconsciously feel doubt and anger towards your parents, thinking "Why should I be nice to my child? I wasn't like that," or you may feel a conflict where positive and negative emotions collide. This can be very painful.
Other major examples of trauma that can affect parenting outside of parent-child relationships include (1) trauma in relationships with one's spouse or partner, (2) trauma in relationships at work or school, and (3) trauma from being involved in an incident or accident.
For some people, various traumas may span multiple categories.
To be able to raise good children
In order to raise children well, you need to understand the meaning of parenting, overcome your own trauma, and treat your children in a good way. How do you deal with the trauma that is hindering you in treating your children in a good way?
It's important not to look back . It's not easy.
If we look at the revival of trauma objectively, it means that the past trauma is threatening your current parenting time and dragging you into the past. You are forcing your child to go through the same experiences. Therefore, in order to avoid repeating the past with your children and future generations, it is important for you to clearly distinguish between the past and the present, face the present, and move forward in life toward the future. By continuing to do so, you will be able to break the vicious cycle of the past, create a new future, and ultimately get back the family you envisioned.
However, in order to correct bad behavior that naturally comes out and switch to good parenting patterns , It is important to observe your negative emotions, understand them, put them away in a box, and then control them before moving forward.
This takes a lot of energy, patience, and requires you to focus your mind on the future, not the past, making it a praiseworthy activity for posterity. However, it is important not to push yourself too hard, as you may lose mental control.
For some of you, painful feelings may come back after you have shown your child good behavior.
However, if you can build a good relationship with your child and become a great parent, it will surely bring you happiness. Encourage yourself, overcome the difficulties, and move forward step by step.
5 basic activities to organize your busy parenting life
Of course it can lead to depression! A husband who is irritated and doesn't do housework.