[Inner Conflict] A Parent's Trauma and the Responsibility of Watching Over Your Child

The heavy reality of a poor parent-child relationship

For a child with a poor relationship with their parents, and parents who don't fulfill their responsibilities, growing up is never easy. When they are small they may accept it as normal, but as they grow older, the thought "I'm unlucky to have parents like these" slowly seeps into their heart.

Warm families that seem like another world

The warm family they see when visiting a friend's home, or the ideal parent-child scenes on TV, can feel like a world that has nothing to do with them. Each time, they feel as if a hole deep in their chest is growing wider.

Negative thinking takes root in the heart

These feelings cast a dark shadow over their emotional foundation. Negative thinking taking root means that thoughts like "I'm worthless anyway" or "No matter how hard I try, it won't pay off" quietly become a habit. Lacking the sense of security and self-esteem parents should provide, they may fear failure and setbacks too much, or be unable to feel truly glad even about small successes. When a friend happily says, "I talked to my parents and they encouraged me," they may feel envy along with the loneliness of "I have no one like that to rely on."

Effects that don't go away in adulthood

Even as adults, the effects remain. Pressure at work, trouble in relationships, standing at a crossroads in life: difficulties that most people could get through somehow feel unbearably heavy.

Trauma, an invisible chain

Perhaps it's because somewhere in their heart a voice keeps saying, "I'm no good" and "I'm not worth loving." A poor relationship with one's parents itself becomes trauma, an invisible chain that binds the adult they become. Anyone with that experience will surely understand this feeling. I want to tell you: you are not alone.

The complexity and frustration of raising children

Still, raising children is never simple. Children do unexpected things; they can be impulsive, clingy, and at times even violent. There are all kinds of moments, and for parents there are many times when frustration builds up.

What is a parent's responsibility?

Even so, handling such a child well, watching over them, and encouraging them when needed. Quietly building that kind of good relationship is, I believe, a parent's responsibility.

What stays in a child's heart

What stays in a child's heart may not be a perfect parent, but the memory that someone truly saw them.

Supervised by an occupational therapist